Just a little thing, saying I'm back and will post again tomorrow.
It's time to go....CAMILLA!!
AS noted at 6.32pm Sunday night AEST!
If you could that'd be great, you don't really have to do much if you don't want too. But Thanks!
I need to thank you for making my highschool years a living hell. You caused rumors about yourself and assumed it was me. I couldn't talk to people you were friends with, because everything WAS my fault when it happened. I couldn't be myself because you would turn it way upside down and into some fucked up retarded story of yours.
I don't give a shit your pregnant and having a baby, i don't give a shit that all of a sudden you want me to go to your place for a baby shower, acting as if nothing has happened. You lost my friendship the day you started accusing me of petty little rumors. Believing them over me, not having the balls to come up and ask me myself, you let everyone else know before me. I had to find out from other people that you were fucked off with me. What do i scare you or something? Or are you just a pussy who can't tell people what your really thinking?
I hope you realize the situation you have gotten yourself into, you cannot just throw this baby away like it is nothing? You cannont run from that? You cannot hide your feelings about it, or anything else, i hope you realize you've got yourself set into a life with no freedom and no real friends.
FUCK YOU! And enjoy your suffering BITCH!!!!!
When i think back to when high school started, i find it hard to believe what has become of me now. I never seem to follow through in what i do. I'm always making mistakes, i never finish anything i've started.
I always seem to cause rivalry between my friends. Why i don't know, and if i do i don't even realize im doing it. Someone close to me lost her mother recently, i don't know how she's feeling on the inside because she's masking her feelings. She thinks i don't know, but i can tell.
I feel like i've made a mistake since finishing school. I don't spend time with my friends anymore. Those i thought were my close friends anyway, even though i've found a new closeness with some of my other friends. I can't help and think about all my friends from my "old" school, those of which i basically didn't talk to since leaving, i promised i'd stay in touch and i never did.
I've not made a strict career or study choice. I'm at tafe now, but im quitting next semester, i can't afford it. Put it plain and simple. Yeah i could possibly afford it if i cut down a bit, but its not like i go out every single day. It's rare i go out. I'm not going out buying myself new clothes, cds, games or stuff like that.
I let my mother live my for me, i let her decide whom i should be friends, i let her decide what subjects i did at school and everything. I never once spoke up to her, i never once told her to let me live my life, let me makes mistakes. I can stand up to her for other people but i cannot seem to do it for myself.
It's getting to the point where i don't want to be me. So i try to shut myself off from the world, i lock myself in my bedroom, and i don't leave it unless im going out, as in away from this house. Everything is getting to a point where i need to leave and be on my own, be on my own have my privacy and be allowed to make my own decisions...but i guess that'd be asking for too much wouldn't it?!
I am really beggining to wish i had entered the house this year, the people are such jerks from what i can tell and i feel i could've started a lot of bitching. I mean come off it, can they not get people who were like the ones in the first season. Like i know you can't replicate it exactly or anything but for gods sake, its the same thing every year....and the show consists of one thing!
I don't know about you but Sex is not everything....Gods sake big brother get REAL people in the show not skinny skanks who want to fuck on screen to get themselves 15 minutes of fame...